• I love the fall, and every year, my family and I visit the Catskill Mountains.
• To make the most of the trip, my two sons usually take a day or two off school.
• However, missing the time sometimes causes stress, and I wish they had personal days.

Fall is my favorite time of year, and it just so happens that our most loved destination — the Catskill Mountains — is breathtaking in October. When we first started our Catskill family getaways in 2020, we went in the summer when the landscape was lush and green. We've been there in winter to witness snow-covered mountains and in spring, when the ground is thawing. However, my favorite time to visit is during peak foliage in autumn. I refuse to miss the colorful mountainscape simply because my kids don't get a fall break.

But taking a couple of days off is not as simple as it should be.

Making up the work can be daunting

This year, my boys are in middle and high school, and we wanted to take two days off school to extend a weekend; however, a hefty workload left them uneasy about missing more than one day. I encouraged them to ask their teachers for work ahead of time so they wouldn't be scrambling to catch up later, but most teachers didn't have lesson plans completed in advance.

While away, they logged in to their school program in between activities to complete some work remotely. When we returned home on Sunday, they finished some lingering assignments, but they weren't completely caught up from the one missed school day until later that week.

My 15-year-old is less fazed by having to complete makeup work. A day away from school doesn't stress him all that much. But my 12-year-old reminds me of myself when I was a student; he worries about the work until it's completed. I wish we could escape for a day or two without the stress of math worksheets and language arts passages looming over his head. Kids deserve a few days away from school each year, no questions asked.

There's value in spending time with family

This year, again, we escaped to a fall wonderland that my children will never forget. We took a short walk to an overlook to see the foliage from above, visited the Sundown Wild Forest where a yellow canopy covered Peekamoose Blue Hole, and continued our yearly tradition of visiting the Bethel Woods Center for their Peace, Love and Pumpkins festival after dark.

The next day, we took a ski lift to the top of Hunter Mountain to admire the fall views from another vantage point. At night, we spent time around the fire pit listening to water rush over rocks in the nearby stream. We had family meals together at restaurants and a night in, cooking at our cabin in the woods. It was a cozy experience that no school day will ever provide.

Giving kids personal days would make much-needed family getaways more accessible

Our school district — in compliance with state laws — focuses heavily on attendance. They communicate their strict attendance expectations during orientations, back-to-school night, and via email. In fact, in the past, when we were unaware that a doctor's note was required for sick days, our kids accrued the 10 allowable guardian-reported absences, and then, alarmingly, a truancy note arrived in our mailbox.

But what if kids were given personal days? What if they could take a few days off each year without having to make up all the work? We should recognize that resetting in nature is self-care. Spending time with family in the great outdoors should be encouraged.

I want them to be able to escape stress-free

Many companies provide their employees with a few personal days each year. We recognize that situations arise — aside from illness — that may require someone to take a day or two off. Why do we fail to provide the same for our kids? With the growing demands and complexity of childhood today, they may need it even more than we do.

Our fall visits to the Catskills are perfection, and they will always be worth a day or two away from school. But I wish we could escape completely, free from quizzes, book reports, and math worksheets. Perhaps one day sneaking to the mountains will be stress-free just as it should have been all along.

• My older son got a phone when he turned 12.
• I ended up regretting it and wishing we'd waited another year.
• Still, our younger son got a phone at the same age, and I was glad we got it for him.

When our older son was 12, getting a phone seemed to be the trend. Many of his friends had phones before 6^th grade, but those who didn't received one at the start of middle school, so we purchased one too. Looking back, I regretted our decision, and wished we'd waited another year.

He didn't truly need one until school sports began in 7^th grade, when he was staying after school for practice and traveling around our county for track meets. Without a true need, a phone simply felt like another connection to the dangers of the internet; protecting him felt impossible.

Our younger son started middle school in September, and ever since his brother got his phone three years ago, he's expected to receive one at the same age.

I didn't want to give in

"He doesn't need it," I told my husband in August. "We know that now," I reminded him. He takes the bus to and from school, and I can track his morning and afternoon bus routes with the Here Comes the Bus app. School sports don't begin until next year, so we are responsible for transporting him to rec soccer practice and games ourselves; we don't yet need to communicate about exact locations or pickup times.

But like with our older son, his friends either had phones or were getting one, and he felt left out. I've found that much of parenting today involves striking a balance between what I feel is safe for my children and giving them the freedom to feel they belong.

I was concerned about him having consistent access to the internet and worried he wasn't responsible enough to keep track of a phone. Remembering the time he'd left his backpack on the bus, I pleaded with my husband, "He might misplace it — and then what?" But that was two years ago, and I wanted to believe that he was maturing. For his mental health, I also didn't want him to feel left out.

My son convinced his dad, who then convinced me

Convincingly, my son argued that it wasn't fair that his brother got a phone at 12, but he would have to wait. "I want to be able to text you if soccer is ending early and let you know when I'm on the bus in the afternoon," he reasoned. I thought these were simply persuasive tactics. I didn't believe he'd follow through, but he did.

Ultimately, my son convinced my husband, who then convinced me that it might be OK. And I'm so glad he did. He already has an iPad, and both devices are protected by parental controls, so we don't feel as though having a phone increases his susceptibility to online dangers. On his own, he devised a plan to responsibly keep track of his phone during the school day. He places it safely in his backpack when he reaches a certain point on his morning bus route — and it stays there until he gets back on the bus in the afternoon.

I'm actually glad we got him a phone

Each day around 3 pm, I receive the text, "I'm on the bus," and my heart feels content. Sometimes he also texts me about how a test went or his plans for tackling that evening's homework. Often, I send him an animated GIF to remind him that I love him, and I'll keep doing that until he asks me not to.

When he had an after-school event last week, I was able to tell him I was running late and that his grandmother would be picking him up. If he's arriving home before me, I can simply let him know that I'll be home soon. Giving him a phone has made him more responsible, given us the freedom to communicate schedule changes, and made him feel confident in his growing maturity. And best of all, his location is only a click away.