Get ready because this week's True Romance is filled to the brim. I'm talking so full it looks like it's actually slightly over the top of the side of the cup.

We're going to do some learning today. We're going to learn about an influencer and professional golfer moving in with one another.

We're going to learn about what happens when a couple invites the babysitter to go swinging. And we're going to learn about women who cheat with married men.

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Even with all this learning that is taking place, we're never going to unlock the mystery of Billy Ray Cyrus. At 65, he's engaged for the fourth time.

This time he somehow convinced Elizabeth Hurley to say yes. Congratulations. While confusing, I'm not going to lower myself in order to trash romance.

Let's get back to why we're here this week. That's, of course, to learn. Let's learn about manscaping from influencer Emily Tanner. She and her boyfriend, Wyndham Clark, have moved in with each other.

That opened the golfer up to having his girlfriend riffle through his belongings in order to make content for social media. She shared a video this week from his bathroom for those who want to be boyfriend/husband material.

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Here's Emily's list of bathroom green flags. I don't know if they're ranked in any particular order, but first to be mentioned was having a good smelling candle. Next on the list is a good grooming tool for manscaping.

You have to keep it under control, fellas. After that came fluffy soft white towels, a good hand soap, lotion, mouthwash and cleaning up after those manscaping sessions all ended up as her green flags.

There you go. Now you're all set to take that next step and have your girlfriend move in with you. The bottom line is; keep it clean and stay groomed all over.

Go follow True Romance on Twitter and Facebook and keep sending your emails here: sean.joseph@outkick.com (anonymously if you prefer).

What happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging?

It's a question that many have asked themselves. Thanks to one babysitter who received an invitation from a couple she was babysitting for, we're getting a glimpse into the possible outcome.

Katy Orah told The Sun that the couple she had been babysitting for sat her down one day and left her stunned by what they asked her. She said the question was, "Do you want to go to a swingers' party with us?"

She was blindsided by the question. She said, "I assumed it was going to be something about the kids. But they told me they both fancied me and asked if I wanted to go to a swingers' party with them."

That was the beginning of the journey. She surprised herself as much as she surprised them when she accepted. A few weeks later, she was with the couple at a swingers club.

"The wife had explained what would happen and made it clear there was absolutely no pressure to do anything," Katy said.

She learned the terminology, then found herself on the dance floor making out with the couple. A natural next step after walking into a swingers club for the first time.

"I was incredibly innocent," she said. "I was their babysitter, but this didn’t feel weird."

And why would it? What's weird about it? They eventually moved into a private room and the rest is history. But that's not where this ends. She went on to meet her husband at the club.

They kept the party going for a while until the marriage ended. It didn’t work out for them, but following the divorce they remained friends. She then moved to a Thai island to start a new life.

A new life where she would open a School of Sensuality. The invitation to the swingers club by the couple she was babysitting for opened up a whole new world for her. She had been given a gift.

It was time to start helping "thousands of people online and face-to-face to improve their sex lives, embrace their sexuality and reconnect with their partners."

The more selfish among us would keep it all to themselves. That's not who Katy is. She's a giver.

"I have replaced shame with loving myself and now help thousands of people do the same," she added.

And that's what happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging.

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The power of love: man wants to remarry ex-wife who cut his junk off

Be prepared to be blown away by the undeniable power of love. In 2023, reports Yahoo! News, Daiane dos Santos Farias found out on her birthday that her husband, Gilberto Nogueria de Oliveira, had cheated on her.

That isn’t a birthday present that most people want to receive. To get revenge on her husband, she reportedly seduced him, tied his hands up while they were in bed together, then grabbed a razor and cut off his penis with it.

She then flushed what had been severed down the toilet. Gilberto was rushed to the hospital for treatment. While there, he consented to having his mutilated penis photographed for medical purposes.

Daiane turned herself in. She was then sentenced to more than four years in prison after pleading guilty to the crime. The couple, understandably, got divorced. But that didn't keep Gilberto from visiting his ex-wife while behind bars.

In November 2025, when she was released early from prison, he reached out hoping to rekindle their romance. Now, almost a year later, he plans to marry his ex-wife who cut off his penis and flushed it down the toilet for a second time.

His missing member will help pay for the wedding, although it won't cover the entire cost. Those photographs that were taken for medical purposes ended up on social media and the hospital responsible paid him $20,000 in compensation.

Gilberto is seeking more money for the leaked photos. While that part of the saga is still ongoing, the rest of it is behind him.

"I really want to get back together with her. I love her," he said. "It never crossed my mind to do anything bad to her, and it still doesn't."

If these two can make it there truly is hope for everyone else.

Women who had an affair with a married man: why did you do it?

I told you we would be learning a lot today, which is a good thing.

Manscaping is important. Figuring out what happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging is important. Understanding the power of love is important too.

So is getting to know the reason why some women have affairs with married men. Some put the blame on their age at the time or selfishness. Others don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Let's take a look at what a few of them had to say about the topic:

• He didn't tell me he was married and I found out about his wife when he died and I googled him and a news article mentioned a wife (and his real age).
• I was 19 or 20. He was approaching 40. I was very naive and fell for his act. He made it sound like they were getting a divorce and not living together, said she was evil and cold, etc. The usual. I genuinely loved him, but when he cheated on me with another coworker, I realized that he wasn't a victim at all, he was a selfish a------. I felt so stupid for falling for it. I learned that him and his wife were not going through a divorce. She had no idea he was cheating, and it made me feel absolutely horrible. I learned a lot from that experience, it helped me to grow up. I still feel really guilty to this day.
• I was 19, he was 45, and no one had ever paid attention to me before.
• I knew he was married. I was 25 and he was 44 at that time. I worked with him but he lived 1500 miles away from me. It started innocently just flirting when we worked together. He was sent to our office on business and that's where it started physically. I was naive & I was enamored with him, he was smart & funny & adored me. It was a lot of fun, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere and ended it. To my knowledge his wife never found out & they are still married today. That was the only time I was ever knowingly involved w a married man. I wouldn't do it again.
• I doubt anyone will admit it here but from being (ex) friends with women who did this, they clearly loved the feeling of being chosen over the wife. Especially if the wife was obviously more beautiful or accomplished or had a seemingly better home life where she was being taken care of.
• I knew a girl in college who had no issue sleeping with married guys. I think she had 5 of them over a couple of years. When I asked her about it she said "If they don’t respect the relationship why should I?"
• Young and dumb. Insecure. Had no morals. Did what I wanted to do because all I wanted to do was to please me me me. Pure selfishness.
• My friend (in her 60s) freely admits to sleeping with married men in her 20s and 30s and she sees nothing wrong with it to this day. She said they were the cheaters, not her.
• I was 23 and he was 47. I was a very naive stupid kid who thought at the time, I wasn’t the one cheating so therefore, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
• My ex-friend slept with her best friends husband. He convinced her that he wasn't getting what he wanted from his marriage and that he "loved" my friend. She thought he was going to leave his wife for her. She had been lonely for a long time and he said all the right things. Once the wife found out, he went crawling back.

Song of the week

- Deep in the Heart of Texas writes:

Sean,

For this week, a classic for True Romance:

Foreigner - Head Games

Rock on . . .

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That is it for today and for the month of October. I'll be in Florida next week, and I'm not taking my laptop with me. True Romance will return on the first Thursday in November, which is insane to think that it's going to be November already.

We had a solid finish to the month. A nice song selection to wrap it up. Keep the song of the week suggestions coming, even while I'm out. I'll sift through them when I return.

Also, feel free to send anything else my way. You can reach me, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com. Go follow along on Twitter and Facebook.

• Two years ago, I moved to Spain, and began dating a Spaniard several months in.
• We had some immediate cultural clashes, mostly around communication and our argument styles.
• I've learned that being fluent in a language doesn't necessarily make communication easy.

I'd spent years learning Spanish before I moved to Spain, but once I arrived, I realized how much further I had to go before I could call myself fluent.

I consider myself "conversationally adjacent"; I'm a few neighborhoods over from fluent, but I still get lost.

So, when I started dating a Spaniard six months into moving here, I was fully prepared for regular vocabulary deficits and butchered grammar (especially with my archenemy, the subjunctive).

What I didn't expect was that even when I understood every word, I could still misunderstand the meaning behind it — because language was only part of the equation.

I was shocked when he called me 'ugly'

Early in our relationship, my Spanish boyfriend casually called me "fea" — literally "ugly" — and was baffled when I burst into tears.

To him, the word didn't carry the cruelty I heard in its English equivalent. In Spain, words like "fea" or "feo" are often used as playful terms of endearment. Understanding this, though, didn't make it hurt any less.

Another time, I asked him how to say "making out" in Spanish. He had no idea — and, in fact, he didn't even understand the concept when I explained it.

"You know," I said. "More than kissing, less than sex. The kind of thing teenagers do on the sofa while pretending to watch a movie." He looked at me like I had invented a new sport.

That was when I started to realize that I wasn't just learning Spanish, but discovering that dating comes with different assumptions in every culture.

We followed very different dating rules

After six months together, things were going really well, but my boyfriend and I still hadn't had "the talk."

Having lived in Canada and the US, I was used to relationships hitting a certain point when someone would say something along the lines of, "I really like you, and I think this is going well. Do you want to be in a relationship or date exclusively?"

When I brought this up, my boyfriend looked genuinely puzzled. So I asked how, in his experience, two people knew they were on the same page about progressing a relationship and not dating anyone else. He shrugged and told me that usually it's just assumed.

My mouth dropped open. "But what if you assume you're exclusive, and she assumes you're not, and it turns out she's dating other people?"

He shrugged again. "You just trust that you both feel the same way," he said.

My boyfriend isn't the only one who feels this way. After our discussion, I asked several Spanish friends about this, and they all said that neither they nor anyone they knew had ever had this conversation.

I've had to separate language, culture, and personality

Some differences are easy to laugh about later — like when we argued about "compromiso," a word I understood as "compromise" and he meant as "commitment" — but others are harder, because they're embedded in our DNA.

For instance, we argue in different ways. My boyfriend can feel ready to move on from disagreements moments after they happen. I, on the other hand, take a bit longer to recover.

Two years later, we're still together and still in love. We're also seeing a couples therapist who has experience with bicultural relationships, because not being quite fluent in each other's languages means we may understand most of the words, but we're sometimes still confused about what the other person is trying to say.

Our therapist is helping us see which misunderstandings are linguistic, which are cultural, and which are simply differences between two people.

Movies often make cross-cultural dating seem romantic — after all, body language is universal, wink, wink — but I beg to differ. Communication is supremely important when trying to build a life with someone.

So this relationship has forced both of us to assess our assumptions at every potential speed bump. Now, we ask: Is this cultural? Personal? A relationship incompatibility? Or just a "lost in translation" misunderstanding that we'll laugh about later?

• I had been dating a guy for about a month when I took a chance and invited him on a trip.
• I was worried it might be too soon, but the vacation turned out to be a great compatibility test.
• Six years later, he's now my husband. This trip is one we look back on fondly.

How soon is too soon to invite a new romantic partner to go on vacation? I asked myself that when I had been dating a guy for a month and had an upcoming vacation that I had planned before I met him.

During the height of the pandemic lockdown in the spring of 2020, I was going stir-crazy not being able to travel freely. In those early days before vaccines or access to testing, air travel felt risky, and there were even restrictions on interstate travel. As an avid traveler who always has a next destination in mind, I needed something to look forward to during those dark days when I was afraid to hug my parents because of social distancing guidelines.

I didn't know it yet, but a solo adventure to cure my cabin fever would turn into a litmus test for a budding relationship during those unprecedented times.

I planned a trip that seemed doable, even with pandemic restrictions

I loved hiking and the outdoors before the pandemic. While many places were closed due to social distancing mandates, the national parks were mostly still open. I had never been to Acadia National Park in Maine, even though I lived in New England until I was 10. Maine is within a day's drive from my home in the Washington, DC area, so Acadia seemed like a feasible destination.

I was single at the time. I had taken solo trips before and planned to go to Maine on my own. In June, I scheduled my time off from work for the last week of August. I didn't have any accommodations picked out or much of a plan other than driving up to Maine and visiting Acadia.

Then I met someone

In July, I met a guy from a dating app. We hit it off, and soon we were seeing each other multiple times a week. About a month after we first met, we were hanging out, and I said offhand, "I'm going to miss spending time with you when I'm in Maine." He said he was going to miss me too. Then an idea, that seemed crazy, popped into my head. "Well, you could come with me," I blurted out.

As soon as I asked him to join me, I wondered if I had crossed a line. We weren't even in official "boyfriend-girlfriend" territory. We had known each other for a month, and my trip was planned for a month later. Without hesitation, he accepted my invitation to go to Maine.

Going on vacation together was a great relationship test

I was excited my new love interest wanted to join me on vacation, but I couldn't help but consider the potential for disaster. What if we stopped seeing each other before it was time to go on vacation? How would we handle a 9-hour car ride together? What if four days of nonstop togetherness was too much too soon?

As he helped me plan the trip, I got early signals that things would go well. We collaborated on finding a place to stay. We were aligned that while we didn't need a 5-star hotel, we also didn't want a bargain rustic cabin where the only bathroom was an outhouse. The night before we left, he humored my meticulous packing list and impressed me with his ability to load the car as if he were playing Tetris.

The 9-hour drive showed we were a great team, taking turns as the driver or the copilot who assisted with navigation and music selection. We discovered that, as angsty teenagers, we had nearly identical tastes in early 2000s rock music, despite growing up on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Staying together in the cabin ended up being a micro-experiment in living together, which felt effortless.

The trip itself was a blast. We admired the Atlantic Ocean from the top of Cadillac Mountain and skipped rocks on Jordan Pond in Acadia. We went kayaking at the lake by our rented cabin and ate fresh lobster. Inviting someone you're dating on vacation so soon might have been unconventional, but it turned out great. Six years later, we're still together, and the trip remains a fond memory from the early days of our relationship.