Vanessa and Nick Lachey like to reiterate the titular question at the center of their hit Netflix dating show by saying, whenever possible, “Let’s find out if love truly is blind.”

But over the past few seasons of the globally popular reality series, the question that has come to dominate the so-called experiment is not whether love is blind, but whether love is political.

Just two episodes into Season 11, set in Boston this time, one couple confronted two increasingly charged political issues in one scene: vaccines and abortion. Enter John Shannon, a 33-year-old account executive, and Sarah Williams, a 34-year-old healthcare program manager whom the internet collectively adores.

The question that has come to dominate the so-called experiment is not whether love is blind, but whether love is political.

Shannon says, “I feel capitalism is injected into healthcare in our country. I feel like Covid really showed the worst side of it to me.” Williams responds with, “I work in a hospital and I got my master’s in this too [and] I feel like recently medicine gets a bad rep when it shouldn’t.”

Minutes later, Shannon pivots the conversation to access to abortion. He says, “I don’t at all think abortion should be illegal, but it’s a very sad thing. People will be like, ‘Well, what about this girl who’s 11 and she’s pregnant by her uncle. She doesn’t deserve to have an abortion?’ And it’s like, OK, that’s horrible. But why does that justify having an abortion at six months because you just never got around to it?” Williams explains: “The six-month thing? That’s where, from a healthcare perspective, I do think there’s a little misinformation as well. The number of women who do it late term, just because it’s almost, like, nonexistently low […] I hate that that’s used as an argument.”

What really made this scene a talker, though, is that after this clear display of a difference of values and belief systems, the two opted to get engaged.

Their exchange has launched a viral conversation, including a proliferation of TikTok videos. And part of what makes the discussion between Sarah and John so remarkable is how commonplace it feels. I’ve heard variations of this very conversation from single friends over drinks, via texts and in lengthy voice notes.

What both “Love is Blind” and my highly eligible single female friends have underscored is that politics, and increasingly conservative politics, is a part of contemporary relationships and dating. For progressive-minded women who find themselves dating men whose politics may fundamentally conflict with their own, the choices are limited: compromise on their political ideology, take on the herculean effort to change their partner or opt out of marriage or long-term partnership altogether.

The premise of “Love is Blind” has become ubiquitous, or perhaps notorious. But if you have yet to experience the pods, the reveal walks and those God-awful opaque gold wine glasses, it goes like this: Single men and women from one city speed-date through a wall, propose, lay eyes on each other for the first time, test their “physical connection” at a resort in Mexico and in a production-provided apartment, and then get married.

Eleven seasons and one streaming record later, criticizing “Love is Blind” is tedious, obvious work: a flawed premise, lack of physical representation, manufactured and manipulated drama, regressive heteronormative ideology and, apparently, exploitation. All of this is to say nothing of the show’s disjointed view of marriage: at once glorified as the ultimate transformative goal and degraded with an artificial timeline and flippant uncertainty at the altar.

Indeed, political misalignment between male and female contestants has become a consistent plot driver on the past few seasons of “Love Is Blind.” If production has a shot list, and I’m certain they do, then a pointed conversation about racism or abortion or health misinformation must top it. Politics has become an increasingly common reason for contestants to end a relationship and opt out of the “experiment.” In Season 8, for example, two men were left at the altar over political issues that mattered to their fiancées. Neither man was fundamentally opposed to Black Lives Matter or LGBTQ+ rights, respectively, but there was an unwillingness to engage intellectually.

Since then, “Love Is Blind” has become increasingly more conservative, more “trad,” so to speak. There is much, much conversation through those glowing walls about “traditional gender roles” and “traditional values.” In Season 9, there was an acutely controversial exchange between two contestants regarding the possibility of having an LGBTQ+ child. “Do you feel like it’s a fad?” Nick asked; “One hundred percent,” Annie answered.

“Love Is Blind” has become increasingly more conservative, more “trad,” so to speak.

This shouldn’t be surprising. Much has been made, including by me, of how media so often mirrors what is happening in American culture. And today mainstream American culture has become increasingly conservative and increasingly natalist: Look at the Trump administration’s plan to use money to ply women into having more children or Project 2025’s plan for women or the realities of the manosphere.

And women are becoming more liberal, more progressive. According to a recent Gallup poll, American women age 18 to 29 are 15 percentage points more likely to identify as liberal than their male counterparts are — a difference five times larger than it was in 2000.

I’m no marriage counselor or relationship expert, but I do not believe politics need to wholly align for a romantic relationship to be happy or healthy or fulfilling. My husband and I disagree on many political issues. What we do share, though, is mutual respect, fundamental values and a willingness to learn from each other.

Williams reflected on her conversation with Shannon on the digital platform Elite Daily, saying, “People are entitled to also make their own choices, and then we have to decide where we as individuals want to draw the line. I think John’s and my communication in that regard was great and healthy and productive.”

Perhaps it was bad editing, or bad luck. Perhaps Shannon and Williams shared something that viewers cannot see yet. Maybe they will walk down the aisle and exchange meaningful vows and then happily hold hands during the reunion special. But for this viewer, especially after watching the latest two episodes last night? It feels doubtful.

So what happens when the person you’re falling in love with, or could potentially fall in love with, holds political views that affect your body, your family or your sense of self? We don’t need a new reality-show premise to answer that question. We can just ask our single friends.

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