• We asked interior designer Lane Mari to share which design trends she'd never have in her kitchen.
• The designer said she stays away from cheap appliances and synthetic materials.
• She also avoids black hardware and harsh overhead lighting in favor of warmer materials and shades.

The kitchen is often one of the most-used spaces in a home, whether you're cooking for family or hosting friends.

With so much time spent there, the design choices you make can have a big impact on how the space looks and feels.

To help you avoid any kitchen-design missteps, Business Insider asked Lane Mari, an interior designer with experience in both design and construction, what she'd never have in her own kitchen and what she recommends instead.

Here's what she had to say.

Black hardware can stand out too much.

When it comes to kitchen-cabinet pulls, Mari is skipping black hardware.

"It's too harsh and creates too much contrast on a white or light cabinet," Mari told BI.

If she wants something dark, she'll usually go for oil-rubbed bronze hardware instead. Its warm undertones can help make it look more balanced in a space.

Not all kitchens need an island.

Though kitchen islands are popular, they don't work in every space — especially not in smaller or awkwardly arranged ones.

"It never looks good to have something crammed in that doesn't really fit," she told BI.

Before committing to an island, Mari recommends consulting with a designer to get its scale just right. In some cases, you might realize a traditional option isn't the right fit.

If that's the case, she said, you can try having a more open piece of furniture custom-made to better suit the space.

Leaving a small gap above kitchen cabinets can look unintentional.

Mari said she often sees cabinets that stop 2 to 3 inches below the ceiling, but it's not her preference. In many cases, it can look like a design mistake.

"If you have shorter ceilings, like 9 feet and under, you definitely want the cabinets going to the ceiling," Mari told BI. "That's going to make the ceiling look taller."

For taller ceilings, she said, cabinets can look best if they intentionally stop farther below the ceiling rather than leaving just a few inches of space.

You won't find an all-black-and-white kitchen in her home.

The designer loves color and incorporates it into her kitchen designs rather than sticking to a black-and-white palette.

Mari recognizes how challenging and overwhelming it can be to choose colors to incorporate into a home, but she has a few tips.

"The best place to get color inspo is from your own closet in the clothes that you wear," she said. Clothes that look good on you can look great in your house — and make you look good in your home, too, she said.

If your closet doesn't offer much inspiration, Mari suggests looking to favorite vacation spots or outdoor spaces instead. Though she gravitates toward natural colors, she said the shades you choose should ultimately make you feel most at ease in your home.

She skips synthetic materials in favor of natural ones that develop character over time.

When choosing materials for a kitchen, Mari opts for stone and wood over synthetic alternatives.

"Natural materials, although they might be a little bit more sensitive, wear better," Mari told BI.

She added that these surfaces can develop a patina over time, giving them more character as they age. On the other hand, manufactured materials don't tend to wear in the same way.

Countertops aren't an area where she'd skimp.

For this designer, high-quality countertops are worth investing in.

"If you're going for an elevated and high-end look in the kitchen, I suggest choosing the nicest natural stone that you can afford," she told BI.

Quartzite is one of her favorites for its strength and durability, and she also likes marble. She suggests visiting a stoneyard, choosing a stone that speaks to you, and designing the rest of the kitchen around it.

You also won't find her opting for the cheapest appliances.

The designer said she often sees clients dealing with lower-priced appliances breaking or arriving damaged, which is why she recommends investing in quality when possible.

"Do your research and get the best ones that you can afford," she said.

For a higher-end look, the designer prefers to conceal appliances with panel-ready options integrated into the cabinetry. She also said retro-inspired styles are a more aesthetically pleasing alternative if integrated appliances aren't an option.

Too much overhead lighting can make a kitchen feel less cozy.

According to Mari, it is absolutely possible to have too much lighting in a kitchen.

She avoids track lighting and recessed lights, which can give off way too much light and make a kitchen feel more like an operating room, she said.

Instead, the designer prefers wall-mounted sconces, small lamps, or other forms of task lighting to provide "a warm and cozy vibe."

In addition, Mari recommends installing dimmer switches whenever possible to help set the mood and give you more control over the amount of light in the space.

Lastly, you won't see her jumping on kitchen trends unless they truly fit her vibe and needs.

There's nothing wrong with following the latest design trends, like colorful lighting strips under cabinets or mosaic-tile backsplashes, as long as you truly like them and they work for you.

"Every space is unique, and every family is different, and the best kitchen is the one that functions best for your needs," Mari said.

For her, designing a kitchen is about personalizing the space to fit each client's needs and lifestyle rather than following a trend simply because it's popular.

If she is going to hop on a trend in her kitchen, it's going to be because it suits her tastes and her lifestyle.

• Valerie Cherry was thrilled when her first grandchild was born. She wanted to be a hands-on grandma.
• The mom-of-one yearned to be closer to the young family but was reluctant to leave her hometown.
• With 1,000 miles between them, she found a "middle ground" by renting nearby for half of the year.

This story is based on an interview with Valerie Cherry, 68, a clinical psychologist from Tampa, Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My husband, Glenn, 68, and I were delighted when our first grandchild — a little girl —was born four years ago.

Our son, Jamal, is an only child, and we are a very close-knit family.

We rushed from our home in Tampa to help him and our daughter-in-law, Sierra, who had settled 1,000 miles away in Houston, with the demands of a baby.

Our trips lasted between a month and six weeks, and there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between the two cities.

We'd either stay with the family or rent Airbnbs to give everyone a bit of space.

It felt great to be hands-on and useful, especially because Jamal and Sierra work very hard in finance and forensic psychology, respectively.

Back home in Florida, though, we lived life to the full in our gated, suburban community. Glenn, a relief veterinarian, and I had meaningful friendships there.

We knew lots of people, particularly fellow alumni from our colleges in Georgia. There was always something going on, like book clubs and fundraising activities.

Then our grandson was born two years ago. We continued our long visits to care for him and his sister, flying between the two cities.

We started to look at places in Houston

Soon after his birth, Jamal and Sierra approached us about what it felt like when we weren't there. They were a bit nervous and wanted to know whether we'd consider moving close by.

We were torn. As much as we wanted to be with our grandchildren, we valued our time in Tampa. Still, we started to look at places in Houston.

The trouble was that if we were to purchase something in Houston, it would have had to be in the suburbs. Traffic is terrible, so it would have been around a 40-minute drive to my son's.

Another factor was that we didn't want to be tied down by taxes, insurance, and all of that in Texas because we didn't want to give up our home in Tampa.

I Googled other options and came across a building called Landing right in downtown, a little over 10 minutes from the family.

It was different from other arrangements because you could stay there for as long or as short a period as you liked.

We paid a membership fee and secured a two-bedroom apartment that was already furnished. The only things we brought were a couple of pots for the kitchen.

We found a middle ground

It now works out that we spend around seven months a year in Houston and five in Florida. However, the 4,800-square-foot house in Tampa is classified as our main residence.

The apartment is much smaller at 1,600 square feet, but we like it very much. There are two swimming pools in the building, playrooms, and a basketball court.

I feel like we have found a middle ground. We can spend quality time with our grandkids, especially when their parents are on a date or away for the weekend.

We're busy planning for Halloween this year as it's a big thing for us all.

We haven't lost our identity as grandparents

Meanwhile, if one of the children gets a fever at day care or school, Glenn or I can pick them up. It's an extra pair of hands.

We haven't lost our identity now that we're known as Nana and Papa. We regularly fly back and forth to Florida to enjoy the company of longtime friends.

Our neighbors keep an eye on the house while we're away, too. It's reassuring.

I know we're privileged to be in this position, but it really is the best of both worlds.