I wonder about the therapy-speak in Harry’s language: sometimes this provides only a surface-level understanding and enables people to project their difficulties outward.
I wonder about the therapy-speak in Harry’s language: sometimes this provides only a surface-level understanding and enables people to project their difficulties outward.
Get ready because this week's True Romance is filled to the brim. I'm talking so full it looks like it's actually slightly over the top of the side of the cup.
We're going to do some learning today. We're going to learn about an influencer and professional golfer moving in with one another.
We're going to learn about what happens when a couple invites the babysitter to go swinging. And we're going to learn about women who cheat with married men.
Even with all this learning that is taking place, we're never going to unlock the mystery of Billy Ray Cyrus. At 65, he's engaged for the fourth time.
This time he somehow convinced Elizabeth Hurley to say yes. Congratulations. While confusing, I'm not going to lower myself in order to trash romance.
Let's get back to why we're here this week. That's, of course, to learn. Let's learn about manscaping from influencer Emily Tanner. She and her boyfriend, Wyndham Clark, have moved in with each other.
That opened the golfer up to having his girlfriend riffle through his belongings in order to make content for social media. She shared a video this week from his bathroom for those who want to be boyfriend/husband material.
Here's Emily's list of bathroom green flags. I don't know if they're ranked in any particular order, but first to be mentioned was having a good smelling candle. Next on the list is a good grooming tool for manscaping.
You have to keep it under control, fellas. After that came fluffy soft white towels, a good hand soap, lotion, mouthwash and cleaning up after those manscaping sessions all ended up as her green flags.
There you go. Now you're all set to take that next step and have your girlfriend move in with you. The bottom line is; keep it clean and stay groomed all over.
What happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging?
It's a question that many have asked themselves. Thanks to one babysitter who received an invitation from a couple she was babysitting for, we're getting a glimpse into the possible outcome.
Katy Orah told The Sun that the couple she had been babysitting for sat her down one day and left her stunned by what they asked her. She said the question was, "Do you want to go to a swingers' party with us?"
She was blindsided by the question. She said, "I assumed it was going to be something about the kids. But they told me they both fancied me and asked if I wanted to go to a swingers' party with them."
That was the beginning of the journey. She surprised herself as much as she surprised them when she accepted. A few weeks later, she was with the couple at a swingers club.
"The wife had explained what would happen and made it clear there was absolutely no pressure to do anything," Katy said.
She learned the terminology, then found herself on the dance floor making out with the couple. A natural next step after walking into a swingers club for the first time.
"I was incredibly innocent," she said. "I was their babysitter, but this didn’t feel weird."
And why would it? What's weird about it? They eventually moved into a private room and the rest is history. But that's not where this ends. She went on to meet her husband at the club.
They kept the party going for a while until the marriage ended. It didn’t work out for them, but following the divorce they remained friends. She then moved to a Thai island to start a new life.
A new life where she would open a School of Sensuality. The invitation to the swingers club by the couple she was babysitting for opened up a whole new world for her. She had been given a gift.
It was time to start helping "thousands of people online and face-to-face to improve their sex lives, embrace their sexuality and reconnect with their partners."
The more selfish among us would keep it all to themselves. That's not who Katy is. She's a giver.
"I have replaced shame with loving myself and now help thousands of people do the same," she added.
And that's what happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging.
The power of love: man wants to remarry ex-wife who cut his junk off
Be prepared to be blown away by the undeniable power of love. In 2023, reports Yahoo! News, Daiane dos Santos Farias found out on her birthday that her husband, Gilberto Nogueria de Oliveira, had cheated on her.
That isn’t a birthday present that most people want to receive. To get revenge on her husband, she reportedly seduced him, tied his hands up while they were in bed together, then grabbed a razor and cut off his penis with it.
She then flushed what had been severed down the toilet. Gilberto was rushed to the hospital for treatment. While there, he consented to having his mutilated penis photographed for medical purposes.
Daiane turned herself in. She was then sentenced to more than four years in prison after pleading guilty to the crime. The couple, understandably, got divorced. But that didn't keep Gilberto from visiting his ex-wife while behind bars.
In November 2025, when she was released early from prison, he reached out hoping to rekindle their romance. Now, almost a year later, he plans to marry his ex-wife who cut off his penis and flushed it down the toilet for a second time.
His missing member will help pay for the wedding, although it won't cover the entire cost. Those photographs that were taken for medical purposes ended up on social media and the hospital responsible paid him $20,000 in compensation.
Gilberto is seeking more money for the leaked photos. While that part of the saga is still ongoing, the rest of it is behind him.
"I really want to get back together with her. I love her," he said. "It never crossed my mind to do anything bad to her, and it still doesn't."
If these two can make it there truly is hope for everyone else.
Women who had an affair with a married man: why did you do it?
I told you we would be learning a lot today, which is a good thing.
Manscaping is important. Figuring out what happens when the babysitter is invited to go swinging is important. Understanding the power of love is important too.
So is getting to know the reason why some women have affairs with married men. Some put the blame on their age at the time or selfishness. Others don't think they're doing anything wrong.
He didn't tell me he was married and I found out about his wife when he died and I googled him and a news article mentioned a wife (and his real age).
I was 19 or 20. He was approaching 40. I was very naive and fell for his act. He made it sound like they were getting a divorce and not living together, said she was evil and cold, etc. The usual. I genuinely loved him, but when he cheated on me with another coworker, I realized that he wasn't a victim at all, he was a selfish a------. I felt so stupid for falling for it. I learned that him and his wife were not going through a divorce. She had no idea he was cheating, and it made me feel absolutely horrible. I learned a lot from that experience, it helped me to grow up. I still feel really guilty to this day.
I was 19, he was 45, and no one had ever paid attention to me before.
I knew he was married. I was 25 and he was 44 at that time. I worked with him but he lived 1500 miles away from me. It started innocently just flirting when we worked together. He was sent to our office on business and that's where it started physically. I was naive & I was enamored with him, he was smart & funny & adored me. It was a lot of fun, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere and ended it. To my knowledge his wife never found out & they are still married today. That was the only time I was ever knowingly involved w a married man. I wouldn't do it again.
I doubt anyone will admit it here but from being (ex) friends with women who did this, they clearly loved the feeling of being chosen over the wife. Especially if the wife was obviously more beautiful or accomplished or had a seemingly better home life where she was being taken care of.
I knew a girl in college who had no issue sleeping with married guys. I think she had 5 of them over a couple of years. When I asked her about it she said "If they don’t respect the relationship why should I?"
Young and dumb. Insecure. Had no morals. Did what I wanted to do because all I wanted to do was to please me me me. Pure selfishness.
My friend (in her 60s) freely admits to sleeping with married men in her 20s and 30s and she sees nothing wrong with it to this day. She said they were the cheaters, not her.
I was 23 and he was 47. I was a very naive stupid kid who thought at the time, I wasn’t the one cheating so therefore, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
My ex-friend slept with her best friends husband. He convinced her that he wasn't getting what he wanted from his marriage and that he "loved" my friend. She thought he was going to leave his wife for her. She had been lonely for a long time and he said all the right things. Once the wife found out, he went crawling back.
That is it for today and for the month of October. I'll be in Florida next week, and I'm not taking my laptop with me. True Romance will return on the first Thursday in November, which is insane to think that it's going to be November already.
We had a solid finish to the month. A nice song selection to wrap it up. Keep the song of the week suggestions coming, even while I'm out. I'll sift through them when I return.
Also, feel free to send anything else my way. You can reach me, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com. Go follow along on Twitter and Facebook.
I started dating my Spanish boyfriend several months after moving to Spain.
Selena Templeton
Two years ago, I moved to Spain, and began dating a Spaniard several months in.
We had some immediate cultural clashes, mostly around communication and our argument styles.
I've learned that being fluent in a language doesn't necessarily make communication easy.
I'd spent years learning Spanish before I moved to Spain, but once I arrived, I realized how much further I had to go before I could call myself fluent.
I consider myself "conversationally adjacent"; I'm a few neighborhoods over from fluent, but I still get lost.
So, when I started dating a Spaniard six months into moving here, I was fully prepared for regular vocabulary deficits and butchered grammar (especially with my archenemy, the subjunctive).
What I didn't expect was that even when I understood every word, I could still misunderstand the meaning behind it — because language was only part of the equation.
I was shocked when he called me 'ugly'
Early in our relationship, my Spanish boyfriend casually called me "fea" — literally "ugly" — and was baffled when I burst into tears.
To him, the word didn't carry the cruelty I heard in its English equivalent. In Spain, words like "fea" or "feo" are often used as playful terms of endearment. Understanding this, though, didn't make it hurt any less.
Another time, I asked him how to say "making out" in Spanish. He had no idea — and, in fact, he didn't even understand the concept when I explained it.
"You know," I said. "More than kissing, less than sex. The kind of thing teenagers do on the sofa while pretending to watch a movie." He looked at me like I had invented a new sport.
That was when I started to realize that I wasn't just learning Spanish, but discovering that dating comes with different assumptions in every culture.
We followed very different dating rules
I've learned that dating in Spain is very different from dating in Canada and the US.
Selena Templeton
After six months together, things were going really well, but my boyfriend and I still hadn't had "the talk."
Having lived in Canada and the US, I was used to relationships hitting a certain point when someone would say something along the lines of, "I really like you, and I think this is going well. Do you want to be in a relationship or date exclusively?"
When I brought this up, my boyfriend looked genuinely puzzled. So I asked how, in his experience, two people knew they were on the same page about progressing a relationship and not dating anyone else. He shrugged and told me that usually it's just assumed.
My mouth dropped open. "But what if you assume you're exclusive, and she assumes you're not, and it turns out she's dating other people?"
He shrugged again. "You just trust that you both feel the same way," he said.
My boyfriend isn't the only one who feels this way. After our discussion, I asked several Spanish friends about this, and they all said that neither they nor anyone they knew had ever had this conversation.
I've had to separate language, culture, and personality
Two years into dating, we're very much in love, but we still encounter misunderstandings.
Selena Templeton
Some differences are easy to laugh about later — like when we argued about "compromiso," a word I understood as "compromise" and he meant as "commitment" — but others are harder, because they're embedded in our DNA.
For instance, we argue in different ways. My boyfriend can feel ready to move on from disagreements moments after they happen. I, on the other hand, take a bit longer to recover.
Two years later, we're still together and still in love. We're also seeing a couples therapist who has experience with bicultural relationships, because not being quite fluent in each other's languages means we may understand most of the words, but we're sometimes still confused about what the other person is trying to say.
Our therapist is helping us see which misunderstandings are linguistic, which are cultural, and which are simply differences between two people.
Movies often make cross-cultural dating seem romantic — after all, body language is universal, wink, wink — but I beg to differ. Communication is supremely important when trying to build a life with someone.
So this relationship has forced both of us to assess our assumptions at every potential speed bump. Now, we ask: Is this cultural? Personal? A relationship incompatibility? Or just a "lost in translation" misunderstanding that we'll laugh about later?
The author (right) said this was the first picture she took with a guy she was dating during a trip to Acadia National Park.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
I had been dating a guy for about a month when I took a chance and invited him on a trip.
I was worried it might be too soon, but the vacation turned out to be a great compatibility test.
Six years later, he's now my husband. This trip is one we look back on fondly.
How soon is too soon to invite a new romantic partner to go on vacation? I asked myself that when I had been dating a guy for a month and had an upcoming vacation that I had planned before I met him.
During the height of the pandemic lockdown in the spring of 2020, I was going stir-crazy not being able to travel freely. In those early days before vaccines or access to testing, air travel felt risky, and there were even restrictions on interstate travel. As an avid traveler who always has a next destination in mind, I needed something to look forward to during those dark days when I was afraid to hug my parents because of social distancing guidelines.
I didn't know it yet, but a solo adventure to cure my cabin fever would turn into a litmus test for a budding relationship during those unprecedented times.
I planned a trip that seemed doable, even with pandemic restrictions
I loved hiking and the outdoors before the pandemic. While many places were closed due to social distancing mandates, the national parks were mostly still open. I had never been to Acadia National Park in Maine, even though I lived in New England until I was 10. Maine is within a day's drive from my home in the Washington, DC area, so Acadia seemed like a feasible destination.
I was single at the time. I had taken solo trips before and planned to go to Maine on my own. In June, I scheduled my time off from work for the last week of August. I didn't have any accommodations picked out or much of a plan other than driving up to Maine and visiting Acadia.
Then I met someone
In July, I met a guy from a dating app. We hit it off, and soon we were seeing each other multiple times a week. About a month after we first met, we were hanging out, and I said offhand, "I'm going to miss spending time with you when I'm in Maine." He said he was going to miss me too. Then an idea, that seemed crazy, popped into my head. "Well, you could come with me," I blurted out.
The author said she connected with her new romantic interest over food, music, and more on this trip.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
As soon as I asked him to join me, I wondered if I had crossed a line. We weren't even in official "boyfriend-girlfriend" territory. We had known each other for a month, and my trip was planned for a month later. Without hesitation, he accepted my invitation to go to Maine.
Going on vacation together was a great relationship test
I was excited my new love interest wanted to join me on vacation, but I couldn't help but consider the potential for disaster. What if we stopped seeing each other before it was time to go on vacation? How would we handle a 9-hour car ride together? What if four days of nonstop togetherness was too much too soon?
As he helped me plan the trip, I got early signals that things would go well. We collaborated on finding a place to stay. We were aligned that while we didn't need a 5-star hotel, we also didn't want a bargain rustic cabin where the only bathroom was an outhouse. The night before we left, he humored my meticulous packing list and impressed me with his ability to load the car as if he were playing Tetris.
The author said the trip with her new romantic interest went well and shared that they have been together for six years.
Courtesy of Renate Flanagan.
The 9-hour drive showed we were a great team, taking turns as the driver or the copilot who assisted with navigation and music selection. We discovered that, as angsty teenagers, we had nearly identical tastes in early 2000s rock music, despite growing up on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Staying together in the cabin ended up being a micro-experiment in living together, which felt effortless.
The trip itself was a blast. We admired the Atlantic Ocean from the top of Cadillac Mountain and skipped rocks on Jordan Pond in Acadia. We went kayaking at the lake by our rented cabin and ate fresh lobster. Inviting someone you're dating on vacation so soon might have been unconventional, but it turned out great. Six years later, we're still together, and the trip remains a fond memory from the early days of our relationship.
In our Divorce Diaries series, we speak to people in Ireland about their experience of marriage and divorce. This week, a woman in her 40s with two children talks about separation from her perspective
By Chris Servello (OpEd) After years of testing and debating how unmanned surface vessels fit into the fleet, the Navy is starting to show what these systems can do. And...
Focusing on a smaller circle of friends made me feel less lonely.
Carrie Berk
Despite having a lot of friends in college, I felt like I was surrounded by strangers.
After a careful analysis, I discovered meaningful connections fulfilled me more than casual ones.
I stopped spreading myself too thin and have since focused my time on a smaller circle of friends.
My 21st birthday party was packed with a dozen faces I half-knew. They all smiled as I blew out the candles and made a wish, yet I felt as if I were surrounded by strangers.
As I looked out into the crowd, I realized that most of my friendships were surface-level, rather than genuine connections. We talked about upcoming school assignments, trending TV shows, and our favorite restaurants, but I wanted more.
What was supposed to be a celebration turned into a rude awakening: Did these people even know me at all?
I've always been someone with many hobbies, which meant making friends across all walks of life. Although I'm lucky to have so many people in my corner, there came a point where it felt like I was collecting friendships like tokens rather than forming meaningful relationships.
The realization set in: I had tons of friends, but somehow, I was lonely.
I needed to learn how to distinguish casual friendships from meaningful ones
I realized friendships with a strong emotional connection were the most fulfilling.
Carrie Berk
Even years after graduating from college, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd been collecting the wrong type of friendships.
I realized many of my relationships had been rooted in transactions or shared activities, which may explain why I was still feeling lonely.
Upon reflection, I noticed that the most genuine friendships I had involved some emotional depth and connection. I only have two of these in my life — one who lives close by, and another who is across the country.
Regardless of where they are, the empathy goes both ways — I share in their joys and sit with them through their struggles, and they do the same for me. We're not just shoulders for each other to cry on, but supportive pillars who help each other walk through life.
These were the friendships that fulfilled me most, and I needed to make more room in my life for them.
I used to be scared of sharing my feelings with friends, but I realized that it was the only way to strengthen my relationships.
Carrie Berk
In order to do this, I needed to figure out what was holding me back. I came to the conclusion that, when it comes to friends, I'd kept many people at a distance, afraid that opening up would make me seem like "too much" or leave me hurt again.
I'd also been spreading myself too thin, trying to maintain too many relationships instead of investing in the ones that mattered most. For example, I felt like I rushed through dinners to mentally check a box that I was keeping up the relationship. Not only was that a waste of time, but it led to major emotional burnout.
Now, I focus on a handful of friends with whom I can build a deeper bond. Even though I only have time to see a select few people, I make sure the few hours we spend together are packed with thoughtful, not superficial, conversations.
Recently, I spent some time with a work colleague outside the office, and we discussed how fitness helped us during difficult points in our lives. We connected on something beyond our jobs, and for the first time in a long time, I felt less lonely.
Once I stopped chasing a bigger circle and was more vulnerable, I felt less alone
Investing more time and energy into my close friendships has been so rewarding.
Carrie Berk
At first, it was difficult to let go of my larger circle. There's nothing wrong with casual friendships, but they couldn't give me the depth I was craving.
Instead, the friends I need are the ones who will hold me up at my worst and cheer me on at my best without expecting anything in return — and I never think twice about doing the same for them. These connections take more time and care to develop, but are well worth the wait.
Once I started watering the friendships I truly valued, I noticed our moments together aren't rushed, and our connection is stronger now because of the care we put into each conversation.
This year, I'm thinking about having a birthday dinner with two or three close friends rather than a larger celebration. Ironically, when I began filtering superficial relationships out of my life, I felt less lonely — and that's all I could have ever wished for.
"Allies have or will send additional maritime patrol aircraft, radar systems, explosive exploitation teams, intelligence personnel, drones, and more to the Black Sea," U.S. Army Col. Martin O'Donnell, a NATO military spokesperson, said in a statement.
It's fair to say that Deebo Samuel has a history of missing games due to injury throughout his career. His style of play contributes to that, and he was inactive for Monday night's Commanders and 49ers game due to a hamstring injury.
He's expected to miss "at least a couple of weeks," 49ers head coach Kyle Shanahan said after he hurt himself in a win over the Seahawks. But that doesn't mean San Francisco's offensive weapon isn't playing through his injury.
He most certainly is, and he's putting it all on the line as a wingman. Not just any wingman, an e-dating TikTok livestream wingman. Is there anything Deebo Samuel can't do? And no, you're not allowed to say stay healthy.
It turns out he's a sucker for romance like the rest of us who have dropped our guards and allowed ourselves to be. The role of the e-dating wingman is exactly what it sounds like.
Deebo played, through his injury it's worth pointing out again, wingman/matchmaker over the weekend. He hosted an e-dating livestream on his own TikTok account for a couple during their virtual first date.
From the looks of it, his services as the wingman may have seriously been needed. Let's just say one of them on the online date really outkicked their coverage here.
Those not as in touch with their romantic side left comments on the screenshot of his livestream like "Step away from Antonio Brown, we should be concerned."
Others with a more refined perspective understood what Deebo Samuel was up to while trying to help two people connect with one another.
If he's too hurt to take the field, playing through his injury by helping to bring a couple of people together using the power of the internet is "doing gawds work."
Best of luck to Deebo and to Bebo, for that matter. Whether a connection was made with the help of the 49ers receiver or not, Isabel is going to be just fine.
The author (right) found a connection in an unlikely place: her ex-husband's new wife, who later became his ex as well.
Courtesy of Julie Peck.
People often assume that my best friend and I are sisters, but our connection is a little different.
She's the now ex-wife of my ex-husband, though we connected while they were still together.
She has become my person, the one I turn to in good times and bad.
When my best friend Shelley and I are out together, people often ask if we are sisters, even though we look nothing alike. Shelley has dark hair, dark eyes, and very fair skin, and while I also have fair skin, I'm a blue-eyed blonde. We get the question so frequently that it's almost comedic.
"No," we tell whoever is asking, "we're ex-wives-in-law."
This always gets a laugh, and when we explain our story, it brings a moment of levity to whomever we've encountered.
Behind what we've made into a little joke for public consumption is a unique bond that a lot of people wouldn't understand. It's a bond forged by trials, reinforced by implicit trust and devotion, and topped off with a whole lot of laughter and joy.
Our connection is unique
"Our Husband," as we call him, was intent on Shelley and me getting to know each other before they married. He and I have two sons, and Shelley has two sons from a previous marriage who are about the same age as my boys.
This meant that we had many of the same interests as boy moms by default, but, as it turned out, we also shared many of the same tastes in music, art, and books.
One milestone event of my life occurred early in Shelley's marriage to Our Husband. Shelley and I went to see Prince in concert together shortly before his death. I will never forget that night, and I'm so thankful that I got to see him perform live. In retrospect, I could see the spark of our friendship starting to glow that night.
Strangely enough, though, the night that I count as the true beginning of our friendship was the night that the Diane Sawyer interview featuring Caitlyn Jenner aired. For me, this was one of those events in the cultural zeitgeist that seemed like it should be witnessed with someone else. As it happened, all four of our boys were on the swim team together, and the program aired on the night of a meet. So, I forced the situation. Our Husband was working that evening, and I told her I'd be over with food to cook dinner for all of us. I came to her house — the house that she shared with Our Husband, who was my ex, of course — and we made dinner for ourselves and the boys, drank some wine, and watched the interview. Our friendship grew from there.
Not everyone was on board at first
Shelley told me much later that she initially thought it was weird that, as Our Husband's ex-wife, I was so intent on being her friend.
She says her mother told her, "I think you might as well give in, I think she has decided you are friends." The truth is, I just plain liked her, and we had a lot in common, but her mom was right. I wasn't going anywhere.
The relationship evolved
Sadly, Shelley's marriage to Our Husband ended after four years. She has said that I put her back together after that all happened. I don't look at it that way. I simply was there for my friend. She emerged after that crisis like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon, and our friendship grew, battle-hardened, to a new level. Through all this, we shared parenting crises and triumphs, career battles and successes, and personal health scares.
Then, together, we went through something foundationally shattering for both of us. We both cared for our aging mothers, and connected even more deeply after they both died.
For a daughter, losing a mother is a life-changing event. On top of that, being a family caregiver, being involved in the deeply draining day-to-day process of shepherding a loved one toward and through their transition in death, is a solemn responsibility, the parameters of which are indescribable to anyone who hasn't experienced it.
As it happened, just by circumstance, Shelley walked those paths ahead of me and alongside me, and we held each other together through tears and laughter along the way. Shelley's mother died on March 18, 2019. My mother died on March 16, three years later. Shortly after she passed, Shelley, Our Husband, and I sat in my living room and toasted her with a round of her favorite drink, gin and tonics, in recognition of the valiant battle she had just completed.
Our Husband had thoughts
So how does Our Husband feel about Shelley and I being so close? For him, it's been kind of like the five stages of grief. First, he tried to deny that we were actually friends. Surely, we were just pretending to be friends — certainly, this was just a charade, we were just doing this to spite him. Then came anger. Apparently, we were friends, which just wasn't appropriate in his view. Next, there was bargaining. If we'd stop seeing each other, he'd be nicer. Then, of course, depression. Yes, Shelley and I were friends, and that just sucked. Now, there is acceptance. Sometimes, he refers to her as my "girlfriend."
Of course, a lot of time has passed, and I like to think that all three of us have grown a great deal. Shelley and Our Husband have been divorced for 10 years. My relationship with Our Husband has gone through many evolutions. He and I have been divorced for 14 years and apart for 17. Above all else, he gave me the greatest gift one human being can ever give another in making me a mother, and we have two wonderful sons who are young men now, out in society, being productive citizens.
Little did he know he'd also give me another wonderful gift when he got divorced for a second time. He gave me my best friend for life, my person.
Under a mechanism developed by Ukraine’s Infrastructure Ministry, Kyiv will compensate shipowners, operators, and charterers whose vessels fly under the Ukrainian or a foreign flag for up to 80% of the assessed damage if insurers don’t cover the risks.
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