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CDC denies approval for high volume measles test, ‘prioritizing emerging technologies’

A letter signed by health officials in California, Hawaii, Oregon and Washington, asks the CDC to reconsider

California and Washington asked the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in May to validate a new way to test for measles – but after waiting two months, the CDC denied the request, citing “other competing priorities”, according to a letter from the West Coast Health Alliance to CDC director Erica Schwartz.

The letter, signed by health officials in California, Hawaii, Oregon, and Washington, asks Schwartz to reconsider and validate a rapid, high-volume measles test in preparation for major outbreaks. The alliance also asked the CDC to create protocols to test for other high-priority pathogens to prepare for future outbreaks.

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© Photograph: Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images

© Photograph: Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images

© Photograph: Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images

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I'm an interior designer to the stars. Here are 5 affordable tips for making your home look more expensive.

Person in glasses relaxes on a cushioned balcony sofa overlooking a distant city skyline.
Julian Buckner started his own interior design and staging company in 2018.

Venjhamin Reyes

  • Julian Buckner founded Vesta Homes, a luxury interior design company in 2018.
  • He's worked with celebrities and high-end clients staging their homes and selling custom furniture.
  • He gives his advice on how to make your home feel more luxurious without breaking the bank.

For luxury and elegance, homeowners often have to shell out for professional help finding the latest trends and big-ticket items. But what if you want your home to look expensive, but you can't break the bank?

According to an interior designer to the stars, there are still ways to communicate luxury via your own personal taste.

"Anyone with money can walk into a B&B Italia and spend $1 million on furniture and have it look like a B&B Italia showroom," said Julian Buckner, who founded the Los Angeles-based staging, interior design, and furniture sales company Vesta Homes in 2018. "Taste is knowing when to put in the ultra-modern leather casino sofa and then marry it with some vintage nightstand that you found at the design mart in Texas."

Buckner, who has worked with clients like LeBron James, Travis Scott, and Jonah Hill, said the average home he stages is worth about $6 million. But his advice applies regardless of price point. Below, he shares his tips for how people can make their homes feel more luxurious without the hefty price tag.

Bring a personal touch to your decorating.
Warmly lit modern living room with a brown sofa, round coffee table, floor lamp, chandelier, and illuminated shelving.

aire images/Getty Images

Bringing something unique and unexpected into a room as decoration shows a level of thought that conveys luxury unlike anything else, Buckner said.

"Those small knickknacks or found items may be the single biggest thing to add personality to a space," he said. "I've seen those antique old wooden shoe horns, antique toys, plaster or marble busts, anything you just wanted to tie into the broader aesthetic."

Just make sure not to get carried away.

"I see people go to HomeGoods and just buy a bunch of random knickknacks and put them on every shelf, and I think that cheapens it," Buckner said.

"It's like informal men's dress wear," he added. "There are a couple of areas you can express personality, and it's maybe in your socks and your choice of a wristwatch. I think that same thing is true in luxury design, where it's in those found items, those antiques, and ultimately the accessories; that's a really unique opportunity to express yourself."

Make furniture unique by having fun with different fabrics.
Bright contemporary living room with curved sofa, round coffee table, abstract wall art, fireplace, and large garden-facing windows.
You can change the style of furniture simply by reupholstering it.

Jayne Howard

There are other subtle ways to show off your personality, too. Buckner said a great way to add a unique fixture to your home is to reupholster furniture.

"I think that the average consumer does not appreciate, does not understand, or does not even know that reupholstering is an option," he said. "You can take a relatively inexpensive sofa and for not a ton of money, reupholster it in a really unique fabric that ties into the rest of the home, and that can absolutely make a space."

Try not to have everything match.
Elegant living room with blue tufted sofa, ornate chairs, coffee table, chandelier, lamps, and paneled white walls.

Tohid Hashemkhani/Getty Images

While having a theme to a room is fine, Buckner said having things too "matchy-matchy" is no longer in style.

"You can see that with the emergence and the popularity of a company like a Restoration Hardware, this more monotone type of furniture and people buying full rooms together and having everything matchy-matchy," Buckner said. "We're seeing a shift away from that and a real focus on curation — on things not matching."

Sometimes, things clashing can actually make a room more interesting.

"I think when things don't match, when there's a little bit of dissonance in the design, that's an area — when it's done tastefully, not tons of different fabrics and colors and textures everywhere — to make you stop and think, 'Oh, that's interesting,'" he said. "We're starting to see a lot more of that."

Window treatments are the most important and easiest fixes for your home.
Bright living room with beige sectional sofa, curtains, round coffee table, lounge chair, plants, and framed wall art.

Bulgac/Getty Images

Buckner's No. 1 fix for adding style to your home is adjusting your window treatments.

"Window treatments, I think, are often massively overlooked, and it's a very inexpensive way to make a space feel very high-end," he said. "Whether the curtains are too heavy, they're poorly positioned, or the rods look cheap, there's such an opportunity there in fabric and layering on the window treatment side that I think can add a ton to a room."

Trendy isn't always better.
Bright dining room with marble table, upholstered wooden chairs, hanging pendant lights, and abstract black-and-white wall art.

Jayne Howard

It's hard not to be inspired when you see a celebrity's home with a special lamp or a certain style of couch (Buckner said Bouclé has had its moment), but it's often better to stay away from popular trends.

While Buckner's high-end clients change their homes around every three to five years, trying to keep up with trends isn't cost-effective for the average consumer. It's more important to find pieces that you like first.

"I would stay away from trends and focus on timeless design and products that you actually love. Spend the time on putting that together, whether it's something you found in a unique place, or has a story behind it, or something that resonates," Buckner said.

"When it's thoughtfully done, it really conveys the highest level of taste."

Read the original article on Business Insider

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SRS Legal assessora Indico Capital Partners e Lince Capital em ronda de financiamento de 28 milhões de euros


A SRS Legal assessorou a Indico Capital Partners e a Lince Capital na ronda de financiamento de mais de 28 milhões de euros da Beyond Vision, empresa portuguesa que desenvolve soluções tecnológicas com aplicações nos setores da Defesa, Segurança e Indústria.

A operação contou ainda com a participação da ActiveCap e destina-se a reforçar a capacidade industrial da Beyond Vision, acelerar o desenvolvimento de soluções baseadas em inteligência artificial e apoiar a expansão internacional da empresa.

A equipa da SRS Legal envolvida na operação foi liderada por Paulo Bandeira e Solange Fernandes, respetivamente sócio responsável e coordenadora na área de Startups da firma.

“O investimento na Beyond Vision reflete a crescente relevância das tecnologias de dupla utilização e o papel do capital de risco no desenvolvimento de empresas portuguesas com capacidade de competir internacionalmente”, refere em comunicado Paulo Bandeira.

O sócio sublinha ainda que a convergência entre inovação tecnológica, indústria e defesa cria “novas oportunidades de investimento”, mas também “desafios jurídicos e regulatórios que exigem uma abordagem multidisciplinar e um conhecimento aprofundado destes mercados”.

Fundada em 2013, a Beyond Vision desenvolve sistemas aéreos não tripulados e tecnologias autónomas com aplicações civis e militares. Registada como fornecedora da NATO, a empresa atua num segmento de crescente relevância estratégica, impulsionado pelo investimento em defesa, segurança e proteção de infraestruturas críticas.

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Chris Pappas Could Make History in New Hampshire’s Senate Race

Chris Pappas, the Democratic nominee, would make history if he won. On the campaign trail, he doesn’t dwell on it.

© John Tully for The New York Times

Representative Chris Pappas addresses a primary night crowd in September. At his side is his husband, Vann Bentley.
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Biden-Released Illegal Alien Freed from Jail in Sanctuary Oregon After Allegedly Killing Young Newlyweds

An illegal alien, released into the United States by the Biden administration, was freed from jail by officials in Deschutes County, Oregon, a sanctuary jurisdiction, after having allegedly killed newlyweds 25-year-old William Micah Carter and 24-year-old Jennifer Lynn Lower in December of last year.

The post Biden-Released Illegal Alien Freed from Jail in Sanctuary Oregon After Allegedly Killing Young Newlyweds appeared first on Breitbart.

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Slotkin's viral 'threat' to conservatives takes new twist as student moves to hold her accountable: 'Shocking'

FIRST ON FOX: Sen. Elissa Slotkin (D-Mich.) is facing an ethics complaint filed to the United States Senate over comments she made earlier this month that many characterized as a "threat" to conservatives who are thinking about working for the Trump administration.

During an Oct. 13 University of Chicago event, Slotkin drew criticism after a clip went viral showing her saying she wants to pursue "signature cases" against people who "enabled" President Donald Trump and push a "deterrence message" for young people.

"I want young people coming out of school to say, 'Should I go work for the Trump administration? Like, that sounds fun, I might get an opportunity.' I want them to be like, 'Lord, that might be buying myself a ton of problems that I don't want, and so let me avoid participating in that,'" she said. "I want that deterrence message sent," Slotkin said.

Slotkin is now facing an ethics complaint filed Thursday by Michael Bicksel, a University of Chicago student who first reported her remarks. The complaint was submitted to the Senate Select Committee on Ethics and argues that Slotkin proposed using congressional investigations and potential prosecutions to frighten young people away from serving in a Republican administration.

FORTY-FIVE PERCENT OF COLLEGE STUDENTS SAY VIOLENCE CAN BE JUSTIFIED TO STOP HATE SPEECH, POLL FINDS

"Recently at an event at my college, the University of Chicago, Senator Slotkin laid out a legislative-oversight agenda that involved using the legal process to terrorize members of the Trump administration in order to ‘deter’ young people from going to work for it," Bicksel wrote.

The complaint asks the committee to determine whether Slotkin's comments amounted to "improper conduct which may reflect upon the Senate," a standard described in the Senate Ethics Manual as applying to conduct that may be unethical even if it does not violate a specific law or Senate rule.

"As a college student and a conservative, this was a shocking thing to hear," Bicksel's complaint reads. "A prominent U.S. Senator came to my college and laid out a goal that I and my peers should be afraid to serve our country in the executive branch. This is well below the standard of conduct expected of a U.S. Senator and deserves investigation by the Senate Select Committee on Ethics and appropriate subsequent disciplinary action."

ELISSA SLOTKIN TELLS STUDENTS LIKE ME NOT TO WORK IN GOVERNMENT. DON'T LISTEN TO HER

Bicksel argued that Slotkin's comments were directed at students considering government service, rather than exclusively at people who commit crimes or engage in unethical conduct.

"The substance of the ‘deterrence message’ is clear as day," Bicksel wrote. "Her target was ‘young people coming out of school’ (like me and my classmates) who are debating whether they should ‘go work for the Trump administration.’"

"We are obviously not debating — as she subsequently tried to clarify — whether to go commit crimes or behave unethically," he continued. "Those who commit crimes should be punished for doing so. No one disagrees with that. All we are debating is public service, pure and simple, and Senator Slotkin says we should think twice about doing so because it might provoke the full power of the United States Senate."

Slotkin, when pressed on the response to her comment on CNN, referred to the controversy as "manufactured outrage."

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FOX NEWS APP

"I think the thing that I've heard from my own Republican colleagues and peers, including interns and folks who work around the Hill who come to our events, they'll tell you, ‘I was worried,’" Slotkin added. "My parents were worried, you know. It's really messy. I'm not sure what to get involved in.' Politics, in general, has become messy."

The Justice Department is currently facing calls to investigate Slotkin over her remarks, Washington Examiner reported on Wednesday.

Slotkin's communication director pointed Fox News Digital to a statement made by the senator on Tuesday when reached for comment.

"Now, if you take a breath, this is all pretty crazy. A president from the Oval Office is weaponizing our justice system against an American who clearly gets under his skin. And if he can do it to me, he can do it to anyone," Slotkin said. "His supporters use a coordinated play to threaten, intimidate, and silence anyone who speaks up. It's a play to distract us from his failed economy, high gas prices, and the disastrous war he started with Iran. But if I've learned one thing from this past year, it's that you have to push back."

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I'm independent Brian Bengs. This is why I want South Dakota's vote for Senate

I’m a retired military prosecutor, U.S. Air Force Academy instructor, and former Wind Cave National Park Ranger. I love the life that my wife and I have built in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I’m running for Senate as an independent because I’m tired of seeing Big Money overpower common sense. The values I learned growing up in a small rural town from my machinist father—the same values that built this great country—are being treated as though they matter less than a politician’s personal ambition or a billionaire’s appetite.

More than at any time in my life, I believe our political system needs to be shaken up and that We the People need to overcome the corrupting influence of Big Money. Self-dealing is screwing hard-working, honorable South Dakotans out of their chance to live the American Dream.

I’m convinced that term limits are the best way to do it. Here’s a good example of why I believe that. Last month it was reported that my opponent, Sen. Mike Rounds, allowed one of his top advisers — who’s drawing a 6-figure taxpayer-funded salary — to simultaneously work as a lobbyist for Meta. This adviser, also a former Rounds campaign manager, has been pushing Big Money interests in the halls of the South Dakota state capitol, then advising our U.S. Senator on the very same issues, on the very same day.

TRUMP VANISHES FROM GOP SENATOR'S CAMPAIGN WEBSITE AS POLL NUMBERS PLUNGE WEEKS BEFORE ELECTION

There ought to be a law prohibiting that sort of thing. That is why, when I’m elected, the first bill I’ll introduce is to make ALL lobbying by congressional staff illegal. I’ve had enough. My second bill would be term limits. Washington’s culture is so corrupt and out of touch that the people who live there too long don’t even realize it anymore.

It was also recently reported that Mike Rounds spends more taxpayer money on private jets than any other member of the Senate.

I’m not trying to dump on Mike.

I believe Mike Rounds is a good man. I’m not here to add to the name-calling and personal meanness that does nothing to solve the very serious problems our state and nation face. I’m here to say that Washington, D.C. needs to change. Most of us can agree our local communities are the ones who pay the price when an elected official stays in Washington too long. We're paying a huge price now.

I agreed with President Donald Trump when he ran on "no new wars." As a patriot who’s proud to have served in both the Navy and the Air Force, I believe commanders-in-chief have a duty to only send our fighting men and women into harm’s way when it’s absolutely necessary. I agreed with him when he said that we needed to fight to make life less expensive. Where I come from, a promise is a promise.

But now, every time I fill up my Ram 1500 at the Corner Pantry, I’m paying over $4.00 a gallon. When I buy groceries for my family at Sonny’s Super Foods, I’m paying more all the time—especially when I buy beef grown by the best ranchers in the world, right here in South Dakota. They are now having to compete with imports from South America that aren’t fairly labeled so that American consumers can know the difference.

The Indian motorcycles that my brother works to assemble are getting harder for Americans to buy because of tariffs that we were told would make American manufacturing stronger.

Sen. Rounds has voted in favor of the Iran war every time he’s had the opportunity. He voted for the tariffs that are hurting South Dakota’s economy. He voted to make the biggest healthcare cuts we’ve ever felt, just so that companies could get tax breaks to build data centers. Wired reports that Mike has now taken more campaign contributions from data center-tied interests than from all of South Dakota itself. Those corporate donors are literally getting our money’s worth.

Sen. Rounds has been in office so long that he voted for the law that made it so that grocery stores don’t have to tell us which country their meat came from. Now he says he wants to bring those rules back. We’ve reached the point where career politicians have been in office so long they’re running against the exact things they did.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINION

I’m not running to be an anti-Trump Senator or a pro-Trump Senator. I have plenty of disagreements with the left. It scares the hell out of me that young people are feeling a pull towards socialism. As a former Air Force prosecutor, I think proposals to "defund the police" and "abolish prisons" are insane. As someone who spent decades working to make America more secure, I thought President Joe Biden’s failure to keep our border secure was unacceptable and offensive.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FOX NEWS APP

I’m running to put South Dakota first, and to work with anyone, whatever their politics, when it’s in the interest of our state. 

I was an ethics advisor in the Air Force. I know it’s not my job to judge people by their politics, but I do believe it’s my job to stand up against a system that isn’t going to fix itself.

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Proteste di camionisti e agricoltori, il cdm stanzia sostegni per il caro gasolio. 105 milioni per l’autotrasporto, 60 per l’agricoltura e 10 per la pesca

Sessanta milioni di euro per gli agricoltori, 10 milioni per la pesca e 105,2 milioni di nuove risorse per l’autotrasporto. Il Consiglio dei ministri ha approvato l’annunciato decreto legge con misure di sostegno per i comparti in protesta a causa del caro gasolio determinato dalla guerra in Iran. Per i tir che nei giorni scorsi hanno bloccato mezza Italia, il provvedimento arriva a due giorni dal vertice con le associazioni di categoria in Prefettura a Milano, quando il ministro Matteo Salvini e il viceministro ai Trasporti Edoardo Rixi avevano annunciato lo sblocco di oltre un miliardo di euro. Una cifra che comprendeva però anche risorse già stanziate e rimaste finora in attesa di essere erogate. Ora il governo garantisce di aver accelerato sulla messa a disposizione dei crediti d’imposta e di essere intervenuto anche per andare incontro alle imprese più piccole. Le associazioni nazionali dell’albo autotrasporto “apprezzano” l’approvazione immediata del decreto, dice Paolo Uggè, presidente Fai e Unatras. Ma le 11 grandi sigle non controllano la protesta e i provvedimenti non convincono tutti: in alcune zone della Campania restano i blocchi.

“Entro la prossima settimana i crediti sul cassetto fiscale”

Il Mit “da ieri ha iniziato a fare i pagamenti e oggi ce li certifica l’Agenzia delle Entrate, quindi entro la prossima settimana le prime 2.000 imprese mandate ieri avranno i crediti di imposta sul cassetto fiscale delle Entrate”, ha detto Rixi. Si tratta dei crediti a compensazione del 70% dei maggiori costi per il carburante sostenuti tra marzo e agosto rispetto a febbraio, prima dell’esplosione dei rincari. Si tratta di contributi attesi da mesi. Per il periodo marzo-agosto, per cui erano giù stati stanziati 480 milioni, sono arrivate oltre 30mila domande che ora vanno smaltite. “I controlli si faranno dopo perché chi lavora non può restare fermo ad aspettare la burocrazia”, ha chiosato Giorgia Meloni in un video diffuso dopo il Consiglio dei ministri, annunciando anche il rifinanziamento del credito d’imposta per settembre e ottobre con ulteriori 106 milioni di euro”. Si tratta di 45,2 milioni aggiuntivi per il credito d’imposta relativo alle spese di gasolio da marzo ad agosto 2026, che portano la dotazione complessiva da circa 430 a circa 480 milioni, e circa 60 milioni per le spese sostenute dal 1° settembre al 5 ottobre. In aggiunta “diamo più tempo, cioè fino al 31 marzo 2027, per utilizzare questi crediti”.

Meloni ha anche annunciato che da novembre saranno sbloccati i pagamenti arretrati per il trasporto via mare, attraverso le cosiddette Autostrade del mare. Anche in questo caso le imprese attendono contributi relativi alle annualità precedenti.

Le misure per i piccoli

Il decreto interviene anche, rivendica il governo, per le imprese di dimensioni ridotte, spesso con pochi mezzi e camion più vecchi, che restano escluse dal credito d’imposta riservato ai veicoli Euro 5 e superiori con massa oltre le 7,5 tonnellate. “Abbiamo dato la possibilità di sospendere per 7 mesi i leasing sugli automezzi in modo da conservare liquidità”, ha spiegato Rixi. Salvini ha parlato di 5 mesi. E ha confermato “la spalmatura del costo del carburante anche sui committenti” attraverso il meccanismo del fuel surcharge che entrerà obbligatoriamente nei contratti, stando agli annunci.

Il contributo per il gasolio agricolo e per la pesca

Per quanto riguarda agricoltori e pescatori, vengono stanziati 60 milioni di euro per un contributo a fondo perduto sul costo del gasolio agricolo, che “nei fatti si tradurrà in uno sconto fino a 0,45 centesimi al litro per oltre 120 milioni di litri”, ha detto Meloni, e 10 milioni di euro per la pesca. Il ministro degli Affari europei Tommaso Foti, e chi gli chiedeva se le risorse fossero sufficienti, ha risposto: “Per ora dovrebbero bastare, un po’ di ottimismo non guasta”. Per il presidente nazionale di Cia-Agricoltori Italiani, Cristiano Fini, quei soldi “danno finalmente un pò di respiro a un comparto in totale apnea da crisi di liquidità”. Ma adesso “auspichiamo che tempi e metodo di erogazioni arrivino subito a compensare queste lunghe settimane di agonia” e “chiediamo subito la costruzione di un piano nazionale straordinario per l’agroalimentare che coinvolga tutta la filiera – produzione, trasformazione, Gdo – per affrontare in modo più organico tutte le difficoltà in campo”. Coldiretti parla di “segnale concreto di attenzione verso un settore strategico per il Paese” e Confagricoltura di “un segnale importante in un momento di grave difficoltà per il settore primario”.

L'articolo Proteste di camionisti e agricoltori, il cdm stanzia sostegni per il caro gasolio. 105 milioni per l’autotrasporto, 60 per l’agricoltura e 10 per la pesca proviene da Il Fatto Quotidiano.

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Drones buzz overhead and enemy wi-fi everywhere: Ukrainian veterans describe how they survived in Russia’s ‘kill zone’ (Ukraine Battlefield update, Day 1,701)

  • Soldiers told the New York Times how they survived six months in the kill zone.
  • Basic rules for survival.
  • Modern warfare: masses of equipment versus courageous individuals.
  • Following peace talks, the humanist Putin sent ballistic missiles to Ukraine.
  • Map of the day: the successful Operation Vivaldi.
  • Videos of the day: the underground Operation Veles into the Russian rear and an aerial drone duel.

Soldiers speak about their six months in the kill zone. When the 128th Mechanised Brigade asked at a training ground last autumn who was willing to go into the ‘kill zone’, the term used for the most dangerous stretches of the 1,200-km front, two soldiers volunteered.

And the rest visibly breathed a sigh of relief.

Hennadiy and Mykhailo, whose story was reported by the New York Times, spent a long six months “at zero” rather than one, and described in detail how they managed to survive on the front line in the Zaporizhzhia region.

Their account shows how, despite drone warfare, the basic work — holding or capturing new positions — is still done by infantry, which remains indispensable even in this war, where a technological advantage can mean the difference between life and death.

Both set out by car from the village of Prymorske and, when they were about 1.5 km from their destination, began a slow and extremely dangerous journey.

It was most dangerous when they had to move.

This article continues, but the full version is available only to EUobserver.com subscribers. Visit account.euobserver.com/membership

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Flávio Bolsonaro visita o pai em Brasília na véspera de debate com Lula na TV Globo

A poucos dias do segundo turno das eleições presidenciais, Flávio Bolsonaro (PL) esteve com o pai, Jair Bolsonaro, na manhã desta quinta-feira (22), em Brasília. O senador, que disputa a Presidência da República, chegou pouco antes das 8h ao condomínio Solar de Brasília, no Jardim Botânico, onde o ex-presidente cumpre prisão domiciliar.

O encontro durou aproximadamente uma hora. Flávio deixou o local sem falar com jornalistas e não comentou o motivo da visita.

A reunião ocorreu um dia antes do debate entre o candidato do PL e o presidente Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva (PT), marcado para sexta-feira (23), na TV Globo. O confronto televisivo está previsto para três dias antes do segundo turno.

Esta é a terceira vez que pai e filho se encontram desde o fim da restrição de 90 dias às visitas a Jair Bolsonaro, determinada pelo ministro Alexandre de Moraes, do Supremo Tribunal Federal (STF).

Condenação de Jair Bolsonaro e compromissos de Flávio

O ex-presidente foi condenado pelo STF, em 2025, a 27 anos e três meses de prisão por tentativa de golpe de Estado. Desde agosto do ano passado, ele está preso e cumpre prisão domiciliar no Distrito Federal.

A agenda oficial de Flávio Bolsonaro indica que ele permanece em Brasília nesta manhã, sem compromissos públicos previstos. Para a noite, o senador tem uma transmissão ao vivo marcada para as 19h.

Leia também

The post Flávio Bolsonaro visita o pai em Brasília na véspera de debate com Lula na TV Globo appeared first on Diário da Manhã - O Jornal do leitor Inteligente.

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My in-laws didn't want my husband and me to live alone together until marriage. So, I moved into his childhood home.

Laura Grace and her husband pose for a photo with his parents.
I lived with my in-laws before getting married to my husband.

Laura Grace Tarpley

  • My husband and I wanted to live together before marriage, but our parents weren't happy about it.
  • However, my in-laws said we could move into their house as long as we slept in separate rooms.
  • Living under the same roof helped me better understand my husband and grow closer to his parents.

I started dating my husband, Daniel, during our junior year of college. However, our relationship was mostly long-distance when we were away from school. Arkansas was my home base, and Georgia was his.

Once we graduated, we even maintained our relationship while traveling and living in separate countries.

We knew our ultimate goal was to get married, and we didn't want to be in a long-distance relationship anymore. So, we discussed getting an apartment together, either in my hometown or his.

However, neither set of parents was happy about our potential plan to live alone together before marriage. Although Daniel and I no longer identify as religious, we both come from Christian families.

So, Daniel's parents, Martin and Louise, offered a compromise: We could move into their house — we just couldn't sleep in the same room.

Living with my in-laws before marriage sounded daunting, but it brought us closer

Laura Grace and her husband pose for a photo with his parents on a beach in Olympic National Park.
Most of my worries about living with my future in-laws turned out to be unwarranted.

Laura Grace Tarpley

Religious motivation aside, Daniel's parents also wanted to give us a break on rent since we didn't have much money. By living with them, we'd be able to save for a down payment on a future home.

It seemed tempting, and we didn't want to take their kindness for granted. We ultimately agreed to this setup (and got engaged about a month before moving in), but I had my concerns.

I worried I'd clash with Daniel's parents over day-to-day issues. I liked them, but I didn't know them super well yet. What if we got on each other's nerves? I also didn't like the idea of someone else's religious ideals dictating how I lived.

Thankfully, though, most of my worries about living with my future in-laws turned out to be unwarranted.

We ate dinner together most nights, which meant I was lucky enough to enjoy an amazing home-cooked meal from Louise almost daily.

Martin and Daniel watched baseball on TV most nights, and I used the opportunity to learn about the sport and eventually became a ride-or-die Atlanta Braves fan.

Despite spending time together often, I still felt like I had my space. My in-laws both went to sleep early because they had to wake up early for work, so Daniel and I still had at least a couple of hours to ourselves at night.

Of course, we still had our problems. I still feel bad about repeatedly forgetting there was no garbage disposal and tossing eggshells into the sink, and I was constantly worried about waking them up at night since they were in bed by 9 p.m.

But overall, living together was a positive experience.

I got to know my husband and in-laws in ways I never would have otherwise

After 10 months, Daniel and I got married and moved out on our own. Looking back, I definitely found it valuable to live with him before we made that commitment.

Although Daniel and I slept in separate rooms, living under the same roof still offered a useful preview of married life. It also gave me a profound understanding not just of how Daniel acted, but of why.

Some of this was small. When he visited my family and stacked dishes in the sink instead of immediately putting them in the dishwasher, I considered it rude.

After about 20 meals with his family, I realized they always waited until the sink was full to load the dishwasher. He wasn't being lazy — he was acting in the way he had been raised.

Plus, it helped me better understand my future in-laws. Because of this, we rarely, if ever, have argued about them visiting or one of them hurting my feelings. This removes a layer of potential problems in my marriage.

Living with Daniel's parents could have strained my relationship with them, but it did the opposite. It brought us closer.

Our time together became even more valuable years later

Laura Grace and her husband pose for a photo with his parents.
I'll always value the time we got to spend together.

Laura Grace Tarpley

My time living with them became relevant again about a decade later when my father-in-law was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Daniel and I were ready to move back in and help however we could. We ended up only having a few weeks with Martin before he died, and stayed for a while after to help Louise tie up loose ends, plan the funeral, and spend extra time with her.

For many people, living with their in-laws for six weeks would be beyond difficult. The emotional, stressful situation still made it hard at times.

However, I was used to living with Louise. I didn't have to tiptoe around the family. I knew how the dynamic worked.

Not only could I live with them for six weeks during a life-altering time, but I was more grateful than ever that I lived with them nearly a decade earlier. I realize now that I wouldn't have gotten to know Martin as well if I hadn't lived in his home.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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